I've recently been re-reading one of Bob Goff's books...Love Does for kids. What I love most about this book is the simplicity. God's hope for us is so simple and His love for us is flawless. Yet, as sinners (humans), we bring the capital 'C' to the word complicated.

In the times we're in, emotions are high, life is hard, and so much is happening all at once...it's easy to get sucked into things. It's easy to have our already finicky feelings be led by others or current events. Social media platforms have allowed us to easily spread both truths and lies. News stations have chosen sides (and twist the stories to align) instead of just reporting the facts. Noisy people have been able to share their opinions so freely that it's become harder to listen to our own inner thoughts and make decisions. There's so many noises trying to tell us how we should feel, what we should think, or what we should do.

I don't know all the facts and I don't want to get into a debate about all the issues...but I do feel like I know how we can start to fix a lot of the brokenness. 

KINDNESS

It's such a simple word, with such an easy definition. Oxford's describes it as "the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate." And the Bible speaks of kindness as being selfless, compassionate, and merciful.

So how did we end up here in present times?

It's simple...we laid down our kindness somewhere. We let our feelings start leading our actions, our responses. We complicated the simplicity of how we're supposed to be towards one another (KIND). Somewhere we got caught up in different always meaning bad, different always meaning enemy.

That's just  not true!

We can disagree.
We can be different.
We can look different.
We can dress different.
We can believe different.
We can vote different.
We can have hope in different things.
We can dream different dreams.
We can speak different ways.
We can like different things.
We can eat different things.
We can achieve different ways.
We can fail different ways.
We can live different ways.
We can learn different ways.
We can teach different ways.
We can listen to different music.
We can read different books.
We can watch different television and films.
We can raise the next generation in different ways.
We can be different in every single way EXCEPT how we treat each other...
We MUST be the same in this category! We HAVE to BE KIND TO EVERYONE.

And that's why I love Bob's book so much!! It's such a simple reminder of how easy it is to just CHOOSE kindness, to CHOOSE love...ALL the time.

Here's 46 takeaways from his book (one for each story)......
1. God's love for us doesn't change...EVER. Not even on our best or worst days.
2. We need to give love away like we're made of it.
3. Our words have tremendous power...make them words of LIFE.
4. We get to forgive people.
5. When someone is lost, the best words you could ever speak to them is 'I'm with you.'
6. The more we stand in Awe of His creations, the less we'll stand in judgment of each other.
7. Jesus makes us able to serve no matter what shape we're in. 
8. When God thinks about you (and every other person), He gets a big smile on His face.
9. God doesn't delight in our successes; He delights in our attempts.
10. Jesus wants to heal us completely...inside and out.
11. God always comes to look for us when we're lost.
12. We show God how much we love Him by how much we love each other.
13. Being friends with someone without expecting anything in return, has the power to change the world.
14. Making time to sit at a table with both new and old friends is important.
15. To make a friends, you must first be a friend.
16. The world will know what we really believe when they see the way that we love others.
17. There is incredible power in loving people...regardless of their status and reputation.
18. God wants us to love everyone.
19. Jesus is always close by and He delights when we ask Him to help us with our biggest hurts.
20. In God's Kingdom there will always be enough to go around.
21. You know you have enough...not by what you have, but by who you have.
22. Sometimes we need to see that we're forgiven instead of only hearing the words.
23. The only way to have it all is to give away all you have.
24. Jesus said that real leaders love their enemies, serve the poor, and treat others the way they want to be treated.
25. When we follow Jesus, we stop settling for 'normal.'
26. The things we create are only as good as the foundations they are built on.
27. An important part of loving others is giving them a chance to make things right when they've made a mistake.
28. Bible doing > Bible studying...put your faith into action.
29. Use your voice and life to make the world a better place.
30. By giving away your love, you live out the kind of love Jesus talks about.
31. When you dream, don't be afraid of what might go wrong.
32. Hurting someone else will never solve a problem.
33. When you feel discouraged...Look up, Look around, Look beside you.
34. Fill your days with acts of love and grace.
35. Make people feel more than just invited...Make them feel welcomed.
36. When people hurt us or let us down...We should meet their acts of meanness/insensitivity with acts of kindness.
37. God doesn't want us to measure ourselves against anyone but Him and His extravagant love.
38. Never quit loving or forgiving people.
39. We don't need years or weeks or even days to become friends with someone...It can happen in just a few minutes.
40. No amount of marks (mistakes) can change that you're God's masterpiece.
41. Sometimes all we can do is walk through sadness with each other.
42. When you do good and make it about you...you can't point people 's attention to Jesus.
43. The words that you say to yourself or others are really important. We get to remind ourselves about who God is and who He made us to be.
44. Jesus came to draw people close to Him, close to each other...so we can help one another.
45. Instead of telling people how much farther they should go...Celebrate how far they've come.
46. Jesus is always inviting us to follow Him.

Nowhere in any of those do you find that kindness and love are second best to how you handle each other or yourself. Differences and similarities mean nothing if we lead with our shared purpose. We CAN heal. We CAN change. We CAN do better. We CAN choose kindness. We CAN choose love.

So!!! What are you waiting for?! Start right now!! What's one thing you can do today to spread kindness into the world? No act of kindness is ever insignificant!!

'Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works."
Hebrews 10:24

Never Give Up!

My friend shared this saying with me...The version of me you create in your mind is not my responsibility. I have no idea who originally had this thought, but her timing in sharing it with me was perfect!!

The last few years have been a roller coaster for me with a few relatives. Well, it's honestly, probably been more than a few years really, but the recent years have brought the greatest challenges and hurts to date.

RELATIVES...it's probably one of the simplest words, with the most diversified meaning.

Me (like most, I assume), long for our families to be our people, our tribe, our defenders, our cheerleaders, our safe place. And our expectations are extremely high for loyalty and trust in the ranks.

Well that's just not realistic. Family members are just like any other human...they're flawed and they have their own stories, their own lives, their own struggles.

So why does it hurt so much more when it's the people closest to you, or the people that you 'should' be closest to???

It's simple...your expectations are greater than reality.

How to stop torturing yourself and causing your own self-inflicted pain, is the real question???

For today, I'll give you the short version of one of my most challenging battles (someday I hope to be able to put into words this season better, but I'm just not there yet on the inside).

My parents divorced last year after nearly 37yrs of marriage. With that has brought a lot of emotions and changes. One of which for me, is my mother walking away from me. For her, the reasons are justified...but for me, there's no justification that could ever be enough to walk away from a child (at any age).

That's where my expectations over reality have kicked me right in the behind. I have had my mother on a pedestal, above all other humans. I have envisioned/believed my entire life that because she's my mother, that she could never give up on me or leave me. I mean, it seems as if an unbreakable bond should be there between a mother and a child, right?

For her it's simple...she's trying to rebuild and forget and erase everything about the past. Well, that includes me, I'm part of the past.

For me, I'm trying to build a new tomorrow with the reality of what is. What is...is that my parents are still my parents, no matter whether they're together or not. Therefore, we should be able to all navigate and overcome the hard, to create a new way of living and existing with each other. I don't want to take sides. I don't want to envision a day where I can't celebrate the big days with both of my parents by my side at the same time. I have had many feelings and thoughts about both sides really, but that's just it...they're mine and they don't belong being acted out towards either of them. I don't want to and most importantly I DON'T HAVE TO! I can choose to love them both, flaws and all...just as I have been given the same grace and freedom from Above. 

For my mother though...my neutral zone stance of wanting to love and be a part of both of their lives still...was in fact a betrayal, and to her I picked a side. And she's hurt. And she's run all over telling some pretty tall tales of my character, leaving out a lot of truths that don't fit into her 'side' of the entire story. And you know what...some have believed her. Some have completely turned their back on me, judged, and convicted me without even so much as an investigation. Some wrote me off just for the simple fact that they take issue with my Dad, and since I still have a relationship with him, well that makes me guilty by association. And that has been hard! It has been so damn hard to loose a mom, an aunt, an uncle (x2), and even some friends.

Loosing people you thought you never would...well it does something to your insides. It opens the door for doubt. Doubt of yourself...did you really do something so wrong? Doubt of your worthiness? Doubt of who can you really ever trust again? Doubt of who else is judging you? Doubt that nothing is true or real in life anymore? You name it, I think I've felt it. Some are short lived feelings that you can shrug off pretty easy and fast, while others linger. Some days I feel like I'm on the other side...and other days I feel like I'm in quicksand. Some days I've been so paralyzed and afraid of more judgment, that I won't even leave my house and interact with strangers who know absolutely nothing about me or this season. I've passed up making new friends, or hanging out with old friends, just to avoid more 'it could happen again' loss. Healing is a process for sure. And being patient with yourself and where you're at is an ongoing struggle.

I've been trying to focus more on reading...reading all the positive, all the overcomer quotes/stories, all the victories. It helps to fill  my head with all the AHmazing possibilities of how this story could end one day. But even in the hope, there is still lingering on again, off again hurt right now.

But for today...my dear friend, my battle buddy sister...she made it a bit easier to keep on keeping on!! I already knew it, but apparently I needed to be reminded (yes AGAIN!)...I need to be me! And I need to just let other people think what they think, whether it's true or not, because it's none of my business anyways. My friends will never ask for an explanation, and my enemies will never accept one.

So if that means I loose some of the 'should' be's...then that's just going to have to be ok for now. Maybe one day, the doors will open again for restoration in some of the loses. But for now, the best thing I can do is to work on fulfilling my gift of who I'm supposed to be, and what I'm supposed to do. I need to just focus on being ME!

​ Never Give Up!!